Robert Smith Doing Things mk 1

• Robert Smith attempting to order off-menu at the Chinese restaurant, before realizing that it is a family-style buffet.
• Robert Smith forgetting to tip the valet at the local theater, then driving back to pay the gentleman only to realize he left his billfold in his other pants.
• Robert Smith accompanying a close friend to a local gun range, where he becomes upset that there is a strict “No Exploding Targets” policy in effect.
• Robert Smith timidly asking to borrow a lighter from his neighbor who is hosting a barbeque in the side yard; his neighbor then extends the lighter, as to light his cigarette, before Robert Smith stops him by holding out a mulberry scented Yankee Candle.
• Robert Smith flipping channels on television when he briefly stops to watch the Outdoors Channel, thinking that the special on evening deer hunting is a Cure video that didn’t make the rotation on MTV circa 1987.
• Robert Smith mentoring a high school student who is in grave danger of not graduating by teaching him how to use Russian peasant mathematics to solve simple multiplication tables.
• Robert Smith arguing with a bank teller over an overdraft fee, stating that there is no chance he would have “floated a bad check” had he known his wife had purchased a reasonably expensive dalmatian as a surprise for her nephew at the exact moment he was purchasing a new dinette set as a surprise for her birthday.
• Robert Smith trying a Netty pot that was recommended by an acquaintance as a last resort before visiting his Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist, who last time told him that he should begin wearing earplugs in the shower, which he had ignored and will surely be scolded about.
• Robert Smith attempting to justify a string of crudely constructed and overly explicit web searches to a computer repair man who had not previously questioned his Internet behavior, as he was merely replacing a faulty modem at the expense of the cable company.

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