*Robert Smith testing the acidity of his swimming pool water because he noticed a heavy chlorine smell last night while doing his daily laps.

*Robert Smith trying to figure out why his inkjet printer keeps displaying a paper jam error- when there clearly is no paper jam- before resigning himself to saving his memoirs onto a USB drive and printing a first draft at his local Kinko’s.

*Robert Smith humming the melody to what he plans to be the first single from the next Cure album, while having a nagging feeling that he’d heard the first bar somewhere before, possibly on the commercial for the supermarket’s grand opening sale last week.

*Robert Smith scouring the neighborhood for his lost puppy in his pajama bottoms, as he realized the dog was missing at 6:43 am. Upon returning home unsuccessfully, he finds that the silly dog had been hiding in the ironing pile the whole time, letting out a quick but noticeable smile.

*Robert Smith thinking about how best to naturally treat the hangnail bothering his left pinky toe, since he can’t find his toe nail clippers that he specifically bought at the drug store the last time this happened!

*Robert Smith trying to explain the complexities of string theory (which he, realistically, doesn’t fully understand) to his mother in an attempt to convince her that he really had retained some information from his stab at a Physics degree many years ago, though he had never completed his exit exams.