Yesterday I went shopping. Here is my review.
Store #1: Goodwill
Intended Purchase: Maybe some records
Actual Purchase: Nothing
Notes: They didn’t have any records. There were also more people than I’ve ever seen in a Goodwill. I attribute this to no one having any money.
Store #2: Best Buy
Intended Purchase: Mortal Kombat vs. DC Comics video game
Actual Purchase: Mortal Kombat vs. DC Comics video game
Notes: I had to pick this up for my brother. The store was pretty empty. Apparently Best Buy carries vinyl now. So if you need a copy of Chinese Democracy or Viva La Vida on vinyl, this is the store for you! It’s also worth noting that these records were just mixed in with the box sets, so I’m sure no one is even aware that they sell them. I also saw some people playing that Rock Band game; they looked ridiculous.
Store #3: Books-A-Million
Intended Purchase: 2666 by Roberto Bolano
Actual Purchase: Nothing
Notes: Christ, what an awful store. I did hear a really weird version of “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” that sounded like Robert Fripp or something. Weird. They have entire tables and racks dedicated to that new vampire book. While I fully support the idea of the general public being really into vampires, those books look really lame.
Store #4: Target
Intended Purchase: I can’t even remember
Actual Purchase: Nothing
Notes: There were actually people in Target. I saw a 4-in-1 DVD that contained Friday, Next Friday, Friday After Next, and All About the Benjamins. I was also enraged by a 2 pack of The Graduate and Garden State. That almost ruined my day.
Store #5: Circuit City
Intended Purchase: I wanted to see if they were going out of business.
Actual Purchase: They weren’t.
Notes: This place is horrible too. It’s actually depressing to go in there. My brother observed that they still sell Gamecube games at full price. Remember when VHS tapes used to cost like $90? I’m sure this shitty store was responsible in some way.
Store #6: World Market
Intended Purchase: Wine
Actual Purchase: Wine, Sake, Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels, Candy Cherries
Notes: This store is pretty nice, despite it’s obvious attempts to make white people feel like they are cultured for buying squid ink pasta. The sake was $2.00, which is probably the cheapest alcohol I’ve ever seen. It will probably destroy whoever drinks it (I got it for my brother). I saw some organic wine. My other brother bought some candy cherries because they looked like actual cherries. In conclusion, nice store but a lot of people who are full of shit probably shop there.
Store #7: Pollo Tropical
Intended Purchase: 2 Pina Colada Smoothies, Yellow Rice with Vegetables
Actual Purchase: 2 Pina Colada Smoothies, Yellow Rice with Vegetables, Yuca Fries
Notes: Nothing much to say here. Instead, I will choose this spot to acknowledge the passing of Dock Ellis. For those not familiar, he was a baseball player primarily famous for 2 things: 1) throwing a no-hitter while on LSD and 2) throwing at the heads of the first five batters in a game against the Reds and getting ejected. RIP Dock.
