My Job is Boring But…

…I get to screw around on the computer all day, which leads me to find stuff like this. This Google page monitors the products sold after people search for them. This is a pretty great trio, in my opinion.

Hey, check out my art

http://www.xtranormal.com/users.php?mode=profile&uid=25141

I think they came out pretty well for putting roughly 45 minutes combined into these 2 videos. I’d be curious to see some feedback/criticism, so as the kids say, “holla”.

Edit: Now there’s 3 videos.

Great Headlines 11/17/08

“The Hives Team With Cyndi Lauper for Christmas Song”

This is utterly unacceptable.

http://www.joelmackey.com/entertainment/shocking/tumorswithhaireyesteeth.html

So it’s not bad enough that you get a tumor…then it has hair and teeth, like a miniature Thing living in your body tissue. This is blowing my damn mind right now.

ALSO- GOOD LORD, OBAMA IS THINKING OF CHOOSING DANZIG AS HIS SECRETARY OF DEFENSE. FOR REAL, GOOGLE IT FOLKS.

A Metaphor For All Actions Within the Scope of Human Existence

You can start out wanting to listen to ambient and world music, and that’s fine, you want to listen to ambient and world music. But it’s a real slippery slope…before you know it, you’re listening to fuckin’ whale songs and Peruvian flautists playing instruments made out of rain forest tree bark who dedicate their “hymns” to the “Earth Provider”. And then you’ve got to make a decision- do you accept the fact that you might as well stop wearing shoes and grow a pony tail or do you put on a copy of the 1st Ramones album?

Just sayin’.

Oh and check out this description of a record I just saw that has at least 3 extremely awesome parts:

“interviews with & music by 1970 civil war drum corps, led by Jim Jones (not that one)”

I FUCKING TOLD YOU ASSHOLES BARACK OBAMA WAS GOING TO SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS

FOX CANCELS ‘MAD TV’

Fox is closing the book on “Mad TV” after 14 seasons.

Net confirmed Wednesday that the Saturday night sketch series, which had barely escaped cancellation in recent years, will end its run at the end of this season.

News comes soon after Fox announced plans to end the run of another long-running comedy franchise, “King of the Hill.” But just as “King” may land a new home at ABC, the producers behind “Mad TV” are mulling ways to keep their show alive.

“There’s been great interest in recent years,” said exec producer David Salzman. “We’ve had a number of networks inquire as to whether the show was coming off Fox and saying that they’d be interested. We have not started to talk to them yet, but now is the time to begin those conversations. I think we have real prospects, but you never know, especially given the economy.”

According to Salzman, production on “Mad TV,” which received a shortened order this season, was set to wrap by December. The net decided to inform the show’s producers of its decision now, rather than in May, in order to give them a chance to end the series with a bang.

“This will give us a proper sendoff, a chance to promote the finale and bring back old cast members,” Salzman said.

Fox told Salzman the decision to ax the show was an economic one.

“They said it was too expensive for a daypart where dollars have been shrinking,” he said. “Their thought was, the show is what the show is, and that essence needs to be maintained — but it’s hard to produce as big and ambitious a show as ours for less money than they’re paying now.”

-Variety Magazine

Rahm Emanuel is a badass; also, Indian food and pizza

Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s new Chief of Staff, seems like a pretty cool guy. Wikipedia states the following:

On the night after the 1996 election, “Emanuel was so angry at the president’s enemies that he stood up at a celebratory dinner with colleagues from the campaign, grabbed a steak knife and began rattling off a list of betrayers, shouting ‘Dead! … Dead! … Dead!’ and plunging the knife into the table after every name.”

Also, his brother is supposedly the inspiration for the “Ari Gold” character on Entourage.

Anyway, on Friday Ross and I went to an Indian restaurant for lunch. Later that night, there was some pizza out so I ate some. I figured the combination had a pretty good chance of making me vomit at some point, but I didn’t feel like cooking. I never did end up vomiting, but I had a pretty strange dream that I guess was inspired by the previous post about Brian Eno, as well as the odd combination of oregano and ghee flowing through my body. In the dream, everyone was at a party at the one of my old houses and Roxy Music was playing on the stereo. At this point, Ross asks me if there are any Roxy Music albums that aren’t so flamboyant. I offer to lend him Avalon, and it somehow ends up on the stereo. Ross starts getting really mad and insisting that “More Than This” isn’t a Roxy Music song, but instead a cut from Sean Connery’s solo album. A few of our friends tried to reason with him but he would have none of it.

My dreams are usually more mundane than my actual life so I thought this one was pretty good.

Things I learned tonight while writing a new study guide for “digital media”:

I learned that Brian Eno created the “3.5 second arpeggio that sounds when Microsoft Windows and Office Programs are booted up”. I probably deserve a late pass on that one. Man, what a weird business meeting: “Hey Mr. Eno, I’m way into your shit about airports and space shuttles and stuff…do you think you could help us out? We need about 3…no, 4 seconds…no come close…of a tonal sequence that really evokes feeling. Oh what’s it for? You know how when you turn on your computer and it just, like, works? Well we want it to create an ambiance. Mood-booting, you know? It’s the future.”

Also, the entry goes on to say that Eno “insists that he hates computers”, but “not enough to stop cashing checks.” The last part of that quote is taken directly from the Encyclopedia of Some Bullshit Ross Thinks and Publicly Types.

I also learned that MP3.com still exists. I was all like “SHA!”, but then I was all like “WOAH” when I saw it was true, and then I was all like “Pffftth” when I couldn’t even figure out what purpose it serves now. And that’s it somehow noteworthy enough to have an entry in a reference book. 

Then I stumbled upon a heading in this book that reads “THE FUTURE OF CYBORG POLITICS.” You don’t even want to speculate, let alone know, how that one ends.

Also, CNN taught me that Obama is looking to buy his daughters a goldendoodle for the White House. I was pretty sure that was a sexual maneuver that cost like $500 from a prostitute and took 40 minutes to complete, but evidently it’s this.

Jon and Ross Blog About the Election for 33 Straight Hours*

*not really

But we are going to update this post from now until they call the election, which should be around 11pm tomorrow.

Jon – 3:28 pm Monday – The “Greek mega-Christian” (in the words of our friend Chris) across the street just put up a McCain/Palin sign. Tensions are high.

Ross- 4:37 pm Monday – That Greek dufus once told me that all punk rock was racist and that I, in turn, was probably a racist. Then he made me do a mock-debate supporting the death penalty after I explained I was clearly not in favor of it. 10th grade, man. So anyway, this is how I’m preparing for the election: http://www.archive.org/details/ptc1978-11-18.flac16

Ross- 7:21 pm Monday - No foolies, a tall black dude just walked past the window wearing one of those patriotic Uncle Sam hats. And I flipped off a gaggle of McCain supporters on the way to work- not for political reasons, but for the fact that I could hear their incessant bullshit yelling over the killer guitar lead in “Hyper Enough”. Superchunk wouldn’t have that, and I won’t either. Also- can’t stop listening to Jim Jones’s speech…he’s making a lot of sense; “I’ve lived for all, and I’ll die for all”.

Jon – 7:38pm Monday – Today at work they told me that I can’t park in the parking lot tomorrow because “the voters need it.” I don’t know where I’m supposed to park.

Jon – 6:40am Tuesday – With all of the technology that exists, why can’t someone or something keep me up to date on how many people have voted for this guy? Polls have opened in a few states and no one is providing me with crucial Boss data.

Ross- 11:05 am Tuesday – I just realized that The Shield is on at the exact same time that I ordinarily would be all about watching election results from the West Coast. So, like, I no longer care who the commander-in-chief will be, so long as we keep Mackie free and Vendrell gets clipped. But only because I don’t have TeVo.

Ross- 2:01 pm Tuesday – Wore black and blue to work today to represent the political ass whoopin’ that’s insuing right now in the U-S-of-A. The big television that shows CNN all day here keeps saying “Obama”, about every 4th word. Some self-important guy (more self-important than me writing about this, obviously) came in an hour ago with his “I voted” sticker and told me that Starbucks is giving away free coffee if you voted today…and then evidently felt obliged to tell me that it’s on the honor system. Really did me a favor there.

Jon – 3:11pm Tuesday – When I was a young (and apparently Woody Allen-esque) child, on Christmas Eve, I’d often lay awake worrying that I wouldn’t get any presents even though I knew in my heart that I would. Is it normal for a 5 year old to think to himself, “I hope Santa doesn’t skip my house because the basement has asbestos?” I’d come up with all kinds of silly theories but the presents would always be there in the morning. Anyway, that is kind of how I’m feeling right at this moment.

Jon – 3:22pm Tuesday – I’ve been trying to decide which channel I want to watch tonight…I was pretty much settled on MSNBC because a) Who wouldn’t want to hear Chris Matthews scream for literally 8 hours straight b) Rachel Maddow is one of my favorite lesbians and c) I want to hear Keith Olbermann accidentally drop some early 90’s Sportscenter slang. So yeah, I was pretty set on MSNBC…until I heard that CNN HAS FUCKING 3-D HOLOGRAMS!!!! Holy shit.

Ross- 6:51 pm Tuesday – As I was leaving for night-work, my brother told me that he isn’t voting today. Not because he has no sense of political efficacy or because he was making a statement- he wanted to go mudding before his night class. And you know what? Some people vote with a ballot, some people vote with mudflaps. He said he would’ve voted for whoever I told him to vote for anyway, and it’s not like Nader’s taking this thing home, let’s be real.

Jon – 8:14pm Tuesday – Hey Ross, Obama is up by 10k in Seminole County. If you’re in Heathrow, there might be some rich people rioting.

Ross- 8:28 pm Tuesday – Have you ever watched CNN Live’s web broadcasting? It’s trash. And their use of holligrams (however you spell that word) is the most pointless garbage ever. Fox News just put up this killer picture though:

Jon 9:26pm Tuesday – Obama just took Ohio and Florida is looking good…this thing looks like its over. Maybe I can watch The Shield.

Jon 9:50pm Tuesday – In my last post of the night, I would like to add that Al Franken is up by 8% in the Minnesota Senate race.

So I had a couple hours to kill tonight…

So I decided to look for houses that I may be able to afford in the near future…then I stumbled upon this:

Obviously, I’ll be moving in tomorrow.