“Keep the Change” volume 1.5

I just remembered this Richard story that made me laugh. So Richard has a lot of friends who are…let’s say, of equal caliber. At one point, one of them was having relationship problems and decided to enlist Richard to solve them. The plan was hatched: Richard was to PRETEND to break into their house- basically making some noises at the windows and stuff- and his friend would look like the heroic boyfriend when scaring the would-be burglar/attacker away, coaxing the girlfriend to not leave him. Richard, of course, would be financially compensated for his work.

Well, so the night arrives, the plan seems to be going without any problems…Richard showed up at the right house, at least. He chose to use a wrench (for whatever reason) to rustle up some noise to alert his friend that he’d need to react quickly. Likely not in a suitable state of mind for method acting, Richard I think sort of forgot about the PRETEND part of the scheme and proceeded to smash the giant floor-to-ceiling window in their kitchen before running back to his car. The boyfriend thwarted the attack, girlfriend freaked out a little, and they both made up apparently.

Justifiably, Richard felt that he had performed the job adequately enough, since the end result had been achieved. Well his buddy thought otherwise, since replacing the window would cost like five times as much as he had agreed to pay Richard, and thusly told Richard he wouldn’t be paid. Of course this aggression would not stand, so a night or two later Richard went back and smashed the other giant window across the room and messed up the guy’s car pretty well (I can’t remember if it involved smashing car windows or slicing up tires or what…something along those lines). And, I would assume, they never spoke again, because I never heard a mention of the story or friend again in the several other years we worked together.

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